


You're Not Alone (I Promise)

by SpookyGuardian



Series: A Series of Scribbles [7]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I cried so much during this, M/M, My feels hurts, Someone stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10593552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyGuardian/pseuds/SpookyGuardian
Summary: No kid likes being in the hospital. Josh Dun would be the first to call you a liar if you said you did because it got you out of school. Who wanted to be poked and prodded by strange people that smelled like they bathed in sanitizer?Or...The one where Josh makes constant promises to Tyler.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I needed to vent out some feels. I've been dealing with a lot of emotional pain lately and it seems like people are manipulating that. I try really hard to be happy, but it hurts too much. I cried a little too much over this story, but I desperate and determined to get it finished. I hope you guys like it. This was inspired by both personal experience and a video game...

Joshua, like all most kids his age, hated hospitals.

If anyone decided to come up to him and tell him that being in the hospital was a lot of fun simply for the fact that you didn’t have to go to school, he would have flat out called them a liar, though not loud enough for his mother or father to hear. They’d scold him about his manners and calling people names then take away the ice cream he enjoyed after every dinner. They had raised him to be a polite young man. So, he wouldn’t shout bad names. He’d just walk away and act like that person didn’t exist. Liars don’t exist. That was the best option. If he avoided trouble, he’d get to keep his dessert.

He took in his surroundings as he wandered through the seemingly endless halls, holding his siblings hands, following close behind their father. He was carrying a slumbering Abigail. The white walls reminded him of the nurse’s office that he had to often visit because he kept getting pushed during gym class. Then there was the awful smell that made his nose twitch and stomach churn worse than mystery meat mondays in the cafeteria. Nobody knew what the hell was in those sandwiches and nobody dared to find out. The last kid that did ended up here. There were a lot of people sitting in what looked to be uncomfortable chairs. Some of them were crying and others were laughing, sharing stories and pictures of babies. He could also hear shouting traveling down from other halls. He didn’t understand the jargon, but his mom probably did and that’s all that mattered.

“Joshie, why are we here?” Ashley asked as she tugged on her brother’s coat sleeve. Her eyes were heavy with exhaustion and he could see the tears. “I don’t like it here. I wanna go to bed.”

“I know, Ash. I don’t like being here either, but dad said we should come visit mom. We haven’t really had a lot of time to spend with her, huh?” Ashley shook her head, using her free hand to rub away the tears. “Well, we’ll get to do that tonight for a little while during her break. It’s gonna be great and then we’ll go home and I’ll read you any book you want.” That made Ashley smile.

“Joshie, can you give me a piggyback ride?”

“Yeah, of course.” Josh stopped in his tracks, jerking Jordan from his sleepy trance. The little boy whined as he pulled on his brother’s hand. “Hold up, Jordy. Ash is getting on my back.”

“Unless you want Joshie to carry you instead, Jordy.” Ashley smiled. Jordan mumbled though it was incoherent. His grabby motion told all. “Come here, baby bro. I’ll help you up.” She gave him a bit of a boost, just enough for him to wrap his arms around Josh’s neck and allow his big brother to hook his arms under his knees.

“Thanks, Joshie… Thanks, Ash.” Jordan buried his face into Josh’s shoulder and drifted back to sleep. Ashley smiled and grabbed ahold of her brother’s hand, pulling him forward. Their father had stopped to wait for them.

“You’re a good brother, you know that?” Bill asked with a bit of a smile. Josh’s face turned a light shade of pink. He knew he was a good brother. He got picked on for it constantly, but there was nothing in this world that would make him turn on his siblings. He loved them dearly and would do just about anything for them.

They continued their journey down the hallway, turning down another. Ashley tugged on his hand again. “Hey Joshie, why does momma work in a hospital? It’s not a really fun place to be, so why work here?”

“Well, of course it’s not a fun place to be and mom knows that, Ash. That’s why she’s a nurse. She likes to help people get better faster and make them happy so they can leave. Kind of like how she makes us soup or tea when we’re sick and rubs Abby’s belly when she has a tummy ache.” Explaining their mother’s job wasn’t an easy one. He had to water it down just a little so he wouldn’t scare her. Their age difference was only a couple years, but Ashley was just far too sweet for the dark truth. “Does that help you understand better?”

“Yeah, I think it does.” Ashley made a bit of a face as she looked down at her feet. “Do you think someday we won’t need hospitals anymore? Like, maybe people won’t get sick anymore! That would be awesome, right Joshie?”

“Mhmm, maybe someday, but for now--” Josh’s explanation was cut short when he heard their father greeting their mom. They shared a quick kiss hello before she took a now slightly more awake Abigail from his arms.

“Oh, such a sleepy girl. Momma’s sorry, Abby baby.” She cuddled her youngest, pressing kisses to her temple and rocking her slowly. Abby was rambling on as best as she could without drifting back into dreamland. “You drew a bunny today in class, huh? You’ll have to show me.” Always count on a mom to be able to decipher a child’s exhausted babbling. Her attention was on her three older children.

“Hello, Josh and my little Ashley apple pie.” Ashley puffed up her cheeks as Josh laughed. The nickname was from when his sister was much younger and would literally wolf down any apple pie that was put in front of her. It was her favorite dessert, so Thanksgiving was automatically her favorite holiday because of that. “How are you both doing?”

“I’m okay, momma. Joshie is super smart and telling me all sorts of fun things.” Ashley leaned against her brother’s arm, smiling. Laura smiled, the corners of her eyes scrunching up ever so slightly, and rested a hand on her son’s cheek.

“Have I told you lately that I feel so very lucky to have a son like you?”

“Mom!” Josh groaned as his face turned red. He loved being praised, but it was still a little embarrassing. Laura kissed his forehead.

“Jordan been asleep this whole time?” She asked, moving her hand from Josh’s cheek to run through Jordan’s already messy hair. The boy stirred a little bit.

“Yeah, I had to drag him out of the car. He slept the whole way here.”

“Make sure you put him right to bed tonight, please?” Laura kissed the top of Jordan’s head.

“Yeah, of course.” Josh grinned his signature smile. Much like his mother’s eyes, his scrunched up as well at the corners, making his grin that much wider. “Are gonna eat here?”

“Unfortunately. I am on break, but I told the nurses to call me if they needed me for a specific patient. He’s a very stubborn boy, maybe about your age, Josh. Poor thing is deathly ill.” She shook her head. “No more talking about work. Tonight there’s a really nice soup being served. I think you’ll be able to stomach it without dying, huh?”

She grabbed onto her husband’s arm and guided them to the cafeteria. Jordan woke up at the smell of food and scrambled to get to the ground. He greeted his mother with a great energy as he bolted by towards the serving line.

Together, the Dun family enjoyed a pretty decent meal together. It wasn’t much, just some soup and crackers. Jordan downed about three bowls and, much to Josh’s amusement managed to consume four jello cups. He claimed, “I’m a growing boy! I need a lot of food!” The young boy was put back in his place when Abigail slapped his hand with her spoon when he attempted to steal her pudding.

“Mom, I’m gonna go use the bathroom.” Josh excused himself from the table and jogged out. He walked down the halls and every time he came upon a bathroom, he’d politely knock and find that it was already occupied. Thankfully, he finally found one that wasn’t and ducked inside to relieve his aching bladder. “Hospital soup goes right through you.” A sigh of relief escaped his lips. He quickly pulled up his jeans and washed his hands, heading out.

“This sucks so fricking hard.” Josh felt his brow shoot up to his hairline. He thought that only his family used ‘frick’ because swearing just wasn’t allowed in the Dun household. He peered around the corner. Standing there was a young boy, maybe about Ashley’s age with two smaller children.

“You can’t swear, Zacky! It’s not nice!” The little girl huffed as she put her hands on her hips, puffing up her cheeks. “I’m gonna tell mom and dad!”

The boy, Zack, glared at the girl. “Don’t you even think about it, Maddie! I’m just frustrated and annoyed and… It’s not fair!” Tears fell down Zack’s cheeks. Maddie’s expression softened as she hugged her brother. They held onto one another tightly. “This shouldn’t be happening! Not to us! Not to him! Not to anyone!”

“I know, Zacky.” Maddie looked like she was about to cry. “Come on, let’s go find mommy and daddy. They’re probably still with the doctor.” She held onto Zack’s hand. He didn’t budge at first, eyes focused on a half-closed door.

“What if…”

“He’s sleeping right now, Zack. If he needs anything, he knows how to get ahold of us. Now, let’s go. Please.” She started to pull him down the hall.

Josh tilted his head. “What the hecking heck was that all about?” He whispered as he quietly approached the door, gently nudging on it, peeking through the small crack. Inside was a boy, maybe around his age. Josh had never seen him before at his school, so maybe he went to another one? There were so many.

“Joshua, what are you doing?”

The young boy nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned around, coming face to face with his mother. She had one brow raised up and her arms crossed. The ‘Questioning Mom’ stare. He swallowed the small lump in his throat and started to pull on his fingers, popping each of the knuckles, an anxious habit of his. His mom knew this. She grabbed his hands. “Sweetie? Joshua, it’s fine. Hey, breathe for me. Can you do that?”

He nodded and took a few deep breaths, just like he practiced. In for six. Out for six. That was the magic number right now. It used to be four and then five, but things changed. Laura rubbed his hands. “Now, tell me what you are doing here.”

“I came out of the bathroom and heard a couple of kids screaming. They were a bit upset and they were standing right here, so I thought I’d… scope it out.” He couldn’t lie to his mother. He was too much of a mama’s boy. Another thing he got picked on for.

“Ah, those were probably the Joseph children, Zack and Madison. They’re worried about their big brother.” She tilted her head to the side a little. “Remember how I told you I was on call for a boy that was deathly ill? That’s him.” Josh nodded, uncertain of what to say. What could one say about hearing that some kid was so sick that you had to use the term ‘deathly ill’?

“I have to go check on him. Stay out here, please. Immediate family only.” His mom stepped around him and pushed open the door. Josh stood off to the side, silently listening in. “How are you doing tonight, Tyler?” So, his name was Tyler? Tyler Joseph. Somehow it seemed fitting and Josh hadn’t even seen what he looked like.

“I’m… alright. Feeling like an eight on the scale, I guess. My stomach hurts more. I couldn’t even look at my dinner.” The poor kid sounded so weak, his voice just barely above a whisper. “Mom cried when she noticed I barely ate anything.”

“Do you want any more medicine, sweetie?”

“Yes, please. Do you have to take more blood tonight?”

“I’m afraid so. Doctors orders.”

Josh peered inside and watched his mother busy herself at the small table in the corner of the room. He saw her opening up a fresh needle and grabbing a couple of vials. Honestly, he felt bad for Tyler. Getting blood drawn wasn’t fun. It wasn’t that Josh was afraid of needles. He just didn’t like them very much. The young mocha-eyed teen glanced back towards the bed. His heart jumped. The boy, Tyler was staring right at him. Josh waved a little, offering a shy smile. Tyler looked down, his hand barely raised as his fingers wiggled. Josh snorted.

“Joshua, I told you to wait outside,” Laura scolded, still not looking up from her work.

“I am outside. I’m not in the room. Not my fault you left the door open, ma.” Josh grinned, knowing that he’d normally get a cuff upside the head for sassing his mother. Tyler started to laugh, though it turned into a coughing fit.

“Oh, keep your mouth shut, Joshua. At least come in here and make yourself useful. Why don’t you sit and talk with Tyler? This needle broke. I need to get a new one.” Laura grabbed the broken tool and left the room. Josh stepped inside, nudging the door closed with one foot as he approached the bed.

“So, you’re her son?” Tyler asked, still not looking up to meet Josh’s eyes.

Josh nodded but realized that the other teen couldn’t hear a nod. “Yeah, she’s my mom. I’m her oldest kid. I’ve got three younger siblings.” Tyler perked up a little at that.

“I do, too. I’m the oldest in my family. I uh, I’m 14.”

“Dude! Me too!” Josh grinned as he sat on the edge of the bed. Tyler inched back a bit, drawing his legs up as close as his muscles would let him. They were already throbbing in pain. “Hey, are you alright? Should I get my mom?”

Tyler shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I just… I know how people are when they hear I’m sick. They all kinda distance themselves from me and when they do sit near me, they kind of wary. Afraid they’ll catch whatever I have. Treat me like I’m the walking plague.” Josh felt his heart break a little bit.

“How could they do that to you? That’s not fair.”

“That’s life, I suppose. You get sick and people don’t want to be your friend.” Tyler sniffed. “I used to have a group of friends and we’d play basketball together. My little brother, Zack would join us sometimes. When they found out I was sick, they came to visit a whole lot. Then I got worse and they stopped coming. I asked my brother about it and he said they didn’t want to catch my disease.”

“Well, what do you have?” Josh asked, curious to know what could possibly scare away the boy’s friends.

“When I was a little kid, my mom would call it a dragon. It’s fire so hot that it was killing all the good knights inside of my body. It was a cute story at the time, obviously as I got older I couldn’t hide behind a child’s fairytale.” Tyler looked Josh dead in the eye. “I have cancer.”

Oh. That would certainly do it. Cancer was a scary sickness that had claimed many lives. It even took some people from Josh’s family. He felt bad for Tyler. Nobody deserved to suffer like this, especially not alone. “You’re not going to run away?” The boy asked, breaking Josh’s train of thought.

“What? No. That’s stupid.” Josh’s face twisted up to one of disgust. “Anyone who runs away from a friend just because they’re sick, doesn’t matter what, is not a good friend and they don’t deserve you.” Tyler blinked. He was about to open his mouth and say something, but Josh startled him a little bit.

The mocha-eyed boy kicked off his shoes and climbed up onto the bed and sat right next to Tyler. He laid back against the pillows and jerked his head to the left, motioning for the other boy to do the same. Tyler fell back against the pillows, stretching out his legs. A sigh of relief escaped him. “You’re really not afraid of catching my disease?”

“It takes more than a sickness to scare Joshua Dun away.”

“You wouldn’t even be able to catch his sickness, Josh.” Both boys jumped a little bit when Laura made her entrance. “I see you two are getting cozy with each other.” Josh went to roll out of the bed, believing he was in trouble. Laura saw the flash of hurt in Tyler’s eyes and stopped him, telling him he didn’t have to move. “I was picking on you, Josh. Take a joke.”

“Don’t do that to me, woman! You already scared me twice! Scare me again and I’ll end up in here right beside Tyler! Is that what you want? Your precious first son in the hospital?” Josh grinned as he got comfortable once more. “What will the teachers say? Think of the pastor and all the tiny children I amuse every Sunday! Oh, the horrors!” Josh threw an arm over his eyes.

Laura rolled her eyes, looking at Tyler. “He’s a dramatic one, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he really is. How do you deal with it?” Tyler was laughing softly, one hand resting on his chest.

“That’s a mother’s secret. I’m sure your mother has her secrets on how to deal with you and your siblings.” Laura grabbed a small tray with the supplies, placing it on the table usually reserved for eating. She grabbed a small package and unwrapped it, revealing a disinfecting wipe. The boy twitched when it met his skin.

“Is it cold?” Josh asked, forcing Tyler to look at him and not what was going on. He nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m not too fond of the cold myself. Don’t get me wrong, Ohio snow is the best snow, but I could do without the cold.”

“So, winter without the cold?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah! We could have snow days in our underwear!” Okay, Josh felt a little proud of himself when Tyler burst out laughing and didn’t cough afterward. He loved hearing this boy laugh. It was the most beautiful sound.  _ How could anyone run away from him? Seriously, if meet anyone who knows Tyler Joseph, I’ll hunt them down. _

“Okay, this is going to pinch just a little bit.” Laura lifted the needle. Tyler panicked a little bit and quickly grabbed onto Josh’s hand. The older boy didn’t mind. He weaved their fingers together, giving Tyler’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Hey, don’t look at it. Look at me,” Josh whispered. Tyler sniffed, looking at Josh again. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise. Just remember… don’t wear stupid cherry print underwear when we have our first snow day. You gotta wear something awesome.”

“My boxers are going to the sickest thing you ever see, Josh. Sick as frick.” Tyler tried to grin to disguise his cringe. He could feel the needle entering his skin and taking his nasty blood. “You’ll be the one to look stupid.”

“Yeah? We’ll see about that, Ty.”

“Alright, you’re all done, Tyler. Looks like your family’s back. Josh, I think your dad is ready to go home.” Laura looked up towards the door. Josh and Tyler looked over. Two unfamiliar figures stood in the doorway along with three small children. Behind them was Josh’s dad, motioning for his eldest to get a move on. Josh sighed.

“Well, I guess I gotta go.” He was about to roll off the bed, but his hand was still being held by Tyler’s. Josh looked at the younger boy. There were tears in those doe eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong? Don’t cry! Please, you gotta stop crying.” He wiped away the tears.

“Promise you’ll come back,” Tyler blurted out. “I can ask my parents to make you an exception. You’ve… been really nice to me and I know we just met, but you’re funny and I like talking to you, Josh. So please, promise you’ll come back. My parents will let you, won’t you?” He was looking past Josh now.

“Of course, sweetie.” That was the unfamiliar woman, probably Tyler’s mother. “If Josh would like to come back and talk to you again.”

“Will you? Please?” Tyler seemed like he was begging now. Josh felt like his heart was breaking all over again.

“Yeah, I’ll come back whenever I can. I promise.” Josh leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. “There are two things you need to know about me. The first being that it takes more than a sickness to scare me away. The second is that I never go back on my word. Here, I’ll leave you my cell number that way we can text each other. You have a phone?”

“Uh, yeah.” Tyler grabbed the phone off the table and handed it to Josh. The older boy quickly added his number and even snapped a picture of himself for the contact. Tyler laughed. “You’re such a dork.”

“Yeah, I know.” Josh smiled as he pulled his phone out and scrolled through Tyler’s, entering in his phone number. “Okay, now give me your best smile.”

“What? No, don’t take my picture!” Tyler covered his face with his hands.

“Alright, alright. We won’t take your picture.” Josh surrendered and Tyler lowered his hands.  _ Click _ . “Aww, you look adorable, Tyler!”

“Hate you, Josh.” The boy pouted.

Josh grinned. “I’ll text you before I come visit. I don’t wanna give you a heart attack unlike someone in this room.” The boy ducked out before his mother could even make a swipe at him.

 

**< ><><>**

 

Josh did keep his promise.

He visited Tyler every day after school for the next two years. A standard day consisted of Josh bursting through the door, all smiles and sunshine, greeting Tyler in the most dramatic of ways that made the boy laugh. Sometimes he’d break out into a coughing fit. Josh would be at the ready with a cold water bottle. They’d flow into casual conversation, talking about how their days went and their interests. Turns out the boys shared the same amount of passion for music.

“I used to be able to sing, but then I started coughing and it killed my voice. I can also play the piano and the ukulele,” Tyler shared with a fond smile. He thought about his ukulele that was probably still in his room, waiting for him to come and pick it up again.

“Okay, what the heck is a ukulele?”

“Think of it as a really tiny guitar with only four strings.”

Josh chuckled. “Eh, I think I’ll stick to my drums. Those are super fun and a great way to relieve stress.”

Tyler’s eyes lit up. “You play the drums? Are you self-taught or did someone teach you?”

“I taught myself. I used to sneak off to the music store in town and play their drums until they kicked me out. It was a lot of fun. I’m saving up for a drumkit of my own.” Josh seemed proud of this, puffing out his chest and grinning, showing off all his pearly white teeth.

As the two boys talked inside the room, Tyler’s parents approached Josh’s mom as she was filling out another form for their son’s continuously growing folder. Kelly Joseph lightly tapped on the woman’s shoulder, getting her attention. “Mrs. Joseph, lovely to see you. What can I do for you?”

“Laura, please. You’ve been taking care of Tyler for a long time now. Call me Kelly.” The woman insisted. “I just wanted to say thank you for letting Josh come here to spend time with Tyler. I can tell it means a lot to my son and his siblings absolutely adore him. The kids he used to hang around with abandoned him and I knew it hurt him a lot. He had tried so hard to explain that they wouldn’t get sick, but you know how kids are.”

“I can understand that.” Laura smiled. “Josh might not be sick, but as you can see,” She motioned inside the room. Josh was flailing his arms, imitating drumming and Tyler was laughing, clutching his side as he tried to fight off a coughing fit. “He’s not exactly the most normal child, Kelly. A lot of kids used to pick on him because of his Asian features, now they pick on him for how he dresses and acts. I’m really glad that Josh and Tyler have each other now. It’s certainly made life a little brighter for them both.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” She peeked into the room. Smiling when she saw Josh was lightly drumming on her son’s arm, both of them humming a song she couldn’t identify.

Tyler and Josh had met not that long ago, but the bond they were creating together wouldn’t be broken so easily. For that, Kelly was grateful. All she ever wanted was for her son to be happy, even now as he was holed up in a hospital room day and night. Now he had Josh. The boy might have been a bit strange, very unlike Tyler’s former friends, but he was the ray of sunshine that Tyler needed.

 

**< ><><>**

 

There was one day Josh couldn’t keep his promise.

As soon as he got home and went to go pack up his other bag for his visit to Tyler, his mother and father had to stop him. Laura broke the news. She told him that his friend was too sick for him to visit today. His health had taken a turn for the worse and not even his family was allowed to see him. Josh felt anger and frustration bubble up his chest. He had promised Tyler that he would visit him every day.  _ There’s no way I’m breaking it. _

Josh ignored his mother’s protesting as he started for the door. “I’m going to see Tyler! You can’t stop me! He’s my friend!”

“Josh, please, he’s too sick. He can’t have visitors today.” Laura looked to her husband for help. She had to get going and she knew that if given any kind of chance or opportunity, Josh would slip out. Bill stepped forward and lifted his son off the floor, pulling him away from the door. The teen kicked and screamed.

“Let me go! I’m going to see Tyler! I promised him I would!” He tried to break free, but his muscles were growing weaker and suddenly his bones felt cold. “I wanna go see Tyler. Please, momma. I can’t break a promise.” Laura cupped his cheeks, wiping away the tears.

“I’m so sorry, Josh. You can see him again when he feels better.” She kissed his forehead. “I promise you both.”

Laura slipped out the door. Josh reached out but his arm was like lead and it fell short. “I need to see Tyler.”

“Your mom promised you could see him once he’s better,” Bill mumbled as he put his son on the couch. Josh sniffled and whined, curling up into a ball, clutching a pillow tightly. He eventually dozed off into a less than peaceful sleep.

 

**< ><><>**

 

Josh was allowed to go to the hospital the next day. Not that Tyler was doing any better. His skin was pale, almost translucent and it was so cold to the touch. Josh instantly climbed into the bed, pulling Tyler close to his side, sharing the intense warmth he knew he radiated. Jordan and Abby always told him he was like a space heater, only better. Tyler clung onto his friend as tight as he could, face buried in his chest.

“I missed you so much yesterday,” Josh whispered as he played with the small tufts of fluffy hair that remained. Chemo was killing Tyler. It was also killing the disease inside of him, or so the doctors would say. Josh didn’t know whether he could actually believe that or not with the state his friend was in.

“I missed you too, Josh. I cried a lot when you didn’t come. I thought you broke your promise,” Tyler whimpered as he tried to cuddle closer to Josh. He had cried and begged for Laura to let Josh come see him. He didn’t care that he had been throwing up blood all morning or that his stomach pains were getting worse. He swore that if he could see Josh, he’d probably feel better. Of course, that didn’t happen.

“I hate this disease so much.” Josh sighed. “I hate what it’s doing to you, Ty. You’re too good for this. I wish I could take it away. I’d put it in me if I had to.” Tyler shook his head.

“No, no, no. You can’t do that, Josh. I won’t let you.” He started to cry. “I need you here and not sick. If you were sick and I wasn’t, what if we never met each other? Then you’d have to do this alone and I’d probably still be hanging around those jerks. I’m okay with being sick because I got to meet you.”

Josh felt the tears burning the corners of his eyes and did nothing to stop them from falling. He held his friend a little tighter, scared that he’d hurt him if he squeezed too hard. He rested his cheek on top of Tyler’s head. “I’m so glad I got to meet you, Tyjo. You’re my bestest friend in the whole world and you’re so brave and so strong. I don’t care how stupid or cheesy that sounds because it’s true. It’s all true.”

Tyler laughed softly, drawing light patterns on Josh’s chest as it stuttered with each sob. He pressed his ear firmly against it, listening. A small smile spread across his face. “Hey, Josh?”

“What’s up, Ty?”

“I once heard my own heartbeat. It was when I was brought here for my more permanent stay. It sounded pretty cool, you know?” Tyler looked up at his friend. “Did you know that your heartbeat sounds like mine?”

“That just means we were meant to be, buddy.”

 

**< ><><>**

 

A bit more time had passed and soon summer was here.

Josh was excited that he got his first summer job before he turned seventeen. Luckily enough, it was at a music store. All he had to do was basic stock and sometimes help customers. He had started to get a decent stockpile of money saved up and his parents tried to persuade him into thinking about saving up for college. Josh had declined. Instead, the money went to the Joseph family, specifically Tyler and his medical bills. He had overheard Tyler’s parents talk about how it was getting expensive and payments were getting difficult to meet, so Josh helped out. They tried to tell him that everything would be okay, that they would manage so Tyler could continue to get the help he needed. Josh insisted.

“He’s my best friend and I care about him so much, Mama J. Please, let me help.” He had held out an envelope filled with a few hundred dollars, just enough to make the next payment. “I want to do this.”

“You’re an angel, Josh. I hope you know that. To Tyler and to us.” Kelly embraced the boy tightly, silently thanking God for bringing these two boys together. She couldn’t have asked for a better friend for Tyler.

Unfortunately, with all the good that came along, there was bound to be some bad and Josh knew this. He had gotten used to hearing about how he couldn’t see Tyler. That didn’t stop him from crying his heart out in his room. There was one particular day was close to an absolute tragedy in his mind….

Laura had come home in tears. Her husband greeted her, hugging her close and asking what was wrong. Josh was lurking near the top of the stairs, listening in even though he knew it was wrong. Something in his chest just told him this had to do with Tyler and oh, how he was right. His mother went on to tell his dad about how Tyler nearly died.

“His heart stopped beating, Bill! It just stopped! We tried so hard to bring him back and he almost didn’t make it! The doctors were just about ready to give in, but then his heart started beating again. When the poor thing woke up, he looked right at me and asked for Josh.” Laura sobbed. “I don’t know if I could ever tell Josh his friend died. I don’t think I could do it.”

A couple weeks passed before Josh heard from Tyler. It started out with texting.

 

**Tyler:** Hey… You awake? I know it’s late.

**Josh:** I’m always awake. I haven’t been able to sleep.

**Josh:** How are you doing?

**Tyler:** I’m okay, I guess… It all hurts.

**Josh:** I wish I could be there to help you…

**Tyler:** Me too… :(

**Tyler:** I miss your warm cuddles. This blanket sucks.

**Josh:** The next time I see you I’ll bring my fave blanket. It’s stupid warm. Like me! :)

**Tyler:** I hope that’s soon. </3

**Josh:** Cheer up. Please.  <3

**Tyler:** I’ll try for you. <3

**Josh:** Get some sleep… and stay alive for me.

**Tyler:** Stay alive for me too.

 

Those couple of weeks turned into two months, Josh’s 17th birthday had come and gone. Tyler called Josh.

“Joshie, good morning!”

“Tyler, hey! You sound happy!”

“You do too! What are you so happy about?”

“I get to hear your voice after what feels like forever! What are you so happy about?”

“My doctor said you can start coming back! I get to see you again! Also, I asked my mom to get you something for your birthday. It’s just something small and dorky. I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it, Tyjo. Your birthday is coming up too! I need to pick out a present for you!”

“You don’t have to do that, Jish.”

“I want to, Ty. I promise it’ll be awesome!”

 

**< ><><>**

 

It was the start of a new year.

Both of the boys were seniors now. Josh had discovered, after four years of friendship, that Tyler did get schoolwork. His parents would pick up the materials for the week and he would power through it when Josh wasn’t around that way when the punk did arrive, they could focus more on each other rather than studying.

“How is it that I never knew this? Seriously, I feel so stupid,” Josh said as he looked at Tyler’s poetry for his creative writing class. Tyler smiled. “I mean, when do you do it? Like, I’m here all the time except for when I’m in class or go home at night.”

“I start all my work at night after you leave while I stomach what I can for dinner and then I sleep while you’re at school. When you get here, I’m ready for whatever adventures we may have.” Tyler grinned, feeling rather proud of his little routine.

Josh set the paper down, curling up on the bed with his friend. “So, it’s our senior year. How exciting. I can’t wait for graduation, finally, be done with all of this high school crap. I’m so sick of the drama!”

“What drama?”

“So, there was this girl that liked me and I told her that I didn’t like her last year. Well, this year it seems like she’s out for my soul or something!” Josh threw his arms up into the air. “I told my friends, Debby and Jenna. It’s like, is it really hard to believe that I’m gay?”

“Well, I didn’t know you were gay until… Oh, I don’t know. Now?” Tyler laughed. Josh’s face turned about a hundred shades of red when he realized that he had just come out to his friend by accident. He tried to apologize and promised to leave if his sexuality bothered him. “Oh, hush up, you silly alien. Come lie down with me.”

Josh curled up on the bed with Tyler, too afraid to meet those doe eyes that had been more vibrant lately. A tan hand that was still far too cold to the touch rested upon his cheek. He placed his own over it and sniffed. “I’m sorry if it bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me, Josh. Do you why?” Josh shook his head. “I am. Gay, I mean. Not bothered. More specifically, I think I might have feelings for the sweetest boy I ever met in my entire life, but I’ve never been.”

“Oh? What’s he like?” Josh looked up at Tyler, his voice a little meek.

Tyler knew his friend was fishing for a confidence booster and he was more than happy to give one. “Well, he’s a weirdo that really likes aliens, even wears this really weird alien key necklace that some dork got him for his birthday.” Tyler grabbed the piece of jewelry hanging around Josh’s neck as he said this. “He’s also really funny, though his jokes are a bit lame some days. He’ll bring me things, like my ukulele and even this super warm blanket that I use every night. It reminds me of him and when I close my eyes, it’s almost like he’s here. When I finally go to sleep, I can hear his musical laugh in my dreams and it’s the most beautiful sound I ever heard.”

Josh laughed, burying his face into Tyler’s neck. The younger boy could feel warm tears burning against his chilly skin, but he didn’t care. He rubbed Josh’s back. “Don’t cry, darling. I’m right here. It’s all okay.”

“I know you’re here and I always want you to be here because you’re so special and I don’t think you realize just how much you mean to me. Sometimes I’ll wake up from nightmares where you died in my arms and I tried so hard, prayed so loud for you to come back and you don’t. Then when I wake up, I have to call you to make sure you’re still here.” Josh’s confession made tears well up in Tyler’s eyes. He had no idea that those frantic ‘good mornings’ and rushed ‘how are yous’ were because of nightmares.

“Oh, Jish. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“I’m not going anywhere either, Tyjo.”

 

**< ><><>**

 

A couple months after their awkward love confession, Josh found himself sitting in health class. He had paid attention to every word that came out of his teacher’s mouth ever since they got onto the topic of cancer. That’s what Tyler had. The exact type, he didn’t know. In the four years they had known each other he never really bothered to ask. Not that it mattered. Cancer was a nasty disease no matter what type. All Josh knew is that he wanted it to be gone.

“Alright, I have a question for you, class. Who here has lost someone to cancer?” The teacher asked. A few kids in the room raised their hand hesitantly. Others began to cry. They were given a tissue and a chance to step outside the room, but none of them budged. The teacher then asked them if they were okay to share their stories.

A few kids did. They were mostly family. Grandmothers and grandfathers. One boy told the story about how he lost his baby brother to cancer. That nearly killed Josh. He loved Jordan with all his heart and he couldn’t imagine a life without him.

“Now, who of you know someone with cancer?”

Josh bit his lip as he raised his hand up into the air. He almost wanted to take it back when he realized that out of his entire class of twenty-one kids, he was the only one with his hand up. The teacher’s eyes seemed to soften, “Josh, who do you know that has cancer?”

“It’s my… It’s my boyfriend.” Josh swallowed. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he was gay, but it wasn’t exactly widely known throughout the school. “I uh, I first met him when we were both 14. My mom works in a hospital and my dad to my siblings and I to visit her one night. I heard these kids yelling in the hall and you know, I got curious about what they were mad about. My mom caught me before I could dig deeper and instead, she told me. The kids were mad because their big brother is super sick. She was doing some blood work with him that night when we had our first encounter.” Josh smiled.

“I talked to him the whole time because I didn’t want him to be afraid. We became friends that night and have been since. About two months ago I told him I was gay and he told me he was too, so we started dating and…” He could feel the tears coming back.

“Tyler means the world to me. My heart aches whenever I hold onto him because he’s so cold or rub his stomach when he throws up. There have been days where he’s been so sick that I can’t even visit him. I don’t sleep at night when he has those days. Sometimes he gets really moody because of the treatments, but I know it’s not who he is. He’ll call me later and apologize and then I’ll tell him that’s okay. I know it’s not his fault. He didn’t ask for this.”

A few students around the room started to cry as he shared his story. Even the teacher was having a hard time keeping her composure.

“I’m so tired of seeing him and his family in pain and suffering. They’ve never done anything wrong. Tyler’s too sweet and kind and he’s always trying to be strong for me even though I want to be strong for him. His family is so amazing. They tried to argue with me when I wanted to help pay for Tyler’s medical bills after I got my first job. We both cry because we’re afraid that one day we might not see each other,” Josh choked out. He furiously wiped away the tears. “I’d do anything to make him better. I’d jump off the highest building, swim in the deepest ocean or dye my hair and sing from the rooftops.”

Jenna was the first to speak up, tears shining her bright blue irises, “Josh, that’s so sweet of you. Tyler’s so lucky to have you as a boyfriend.”

“Man, you slay me.” Brendon, another student in his class, had his hand over his heart. “I don’t even know what to say to this. It’s killing me, for real. Tyler sounds like a really cool dude.”

“Oh, Josh. You’ve always had the biggest heart, seriously,” Debby said as she got up from her seat, not caring if the teacher got mad, and embraced her friend real tight.

“Your story is very touching, Mr. Dun.” The teacher caught all their attention. “Cancer is a deadly disease that claims many, especially those we love. Your words and dedication to this boy are very apparent, so I’d like to offer a proposal to all of you. If you agree to such an assignment, it will count towards part of your grade at the end of the year.” The students perked up.

“I’ll talk to the principal, but what do you all say about dyeing your hair for cancer? There are fundraisers where you shave all of your hair off, but if you notice, a variety of cancers have its own color so that families can show support.”

All the kids jumped at the idea, sharing ideas of what kinds of colors they would dye their hair. Josh already knew what color he was going to gun for. It might not have matched the type of cancer Tyler had, but it suited their relationship so well.  _ I hope Tyler likes it. _

 

**< ><><>**

 

It was December 1st.

That was Tyler’s birthday and Josh was determined to celebrate it. He had asked if the sick boy was allowed to have sweets of any kind. They got approval from his dietician for one cupcake of Josh’s choice. Of course, the teenager went to Mrs. Joseph for suggestions. Together they baked a batch of Tyler’s favorite cupcakes: chocolate with creamy white frosting topped with oreo cookies. Then there was just the matter of a gift and Josh already knew what he wanted to do, sort of. His plan wasn’t exactly foolproof, but it would have to do for now.

That day, he went home feeling a bit anxious about his visit. The day hadn’t been terrible. He had shared the leftover cupcakes with his health class and a bunch of them presented cards in return, all of them to be delivered to Tyler for his birthday. He grabbed the presents had picked out for Tyler, each one wrapped by his sister because they all knew that when Josh tried wrapping presents it would end tragically. His mother asked if he was ready to go.

“Yeah, I think so.”

The Dun family climbed into the SUV and they took off towards the hospital where Tyler and the Joseph’s were patiently waiting. Josh was bouncing on the balls of his feet by the time he got out of the car, his arms filled with cards and gifts and a cupcake. His father offered to help, but Josh insisted that he had it. “Alright, son. Just don’t get anxious, alright? It’s going to be fine. It’s just Tyler.”

No. It was never  _ just _ Tyler. Tyler was amazing and he deserved nothing but the best. Josh sometimes doubted that he was the bed, but his family and Tyler’s family always assured him that he was the most amazing thing to ever happen to that boy. In all honesty, Tyler was the best thing to ever happen to Josh and no one could tell him otherwise.

Josh let out a sigh as he turned down the hallways, making his way to room where his boyfriend had been cooped up for the past four years. Zack was standing outside the room with a big grin on his face. “Dude, you’re finally here!” They shared an awkward hug, but only because of all the stuff. Josh loved Zack like a second little brother. “Tyler’s itching to see you. Let’s go!”

The younger teen pushed the door open and walked inside. “Tyler, your boyfriend’s here!”

Josh stood there awkwardly as he stared at Tyler. His breath left him.

No matter what anyone said, the boy on the bed would always be the most beautiful being in the world to him. A fallen angel. One that could possibly slip away back into heaven at any moment. His arms started to shake. Tyler called out to him, “Jishwa, come here, baby. Put the stuff on the table and come here.” The older boy did as he was told and put everything down, making it more obvious that he was on the verge of an anxiety attack. Of course Tyler had learned what his symptoms looked like.

He climbed onto the bed, instantly pulling Tyler close to him. Callused piano fingers carded through the fluffy curls as he softly whispered, “It’s alright, Jish. I’m right here. Everything is okay. I promise. It’s not a dream.”

“I’m sorry I suck. I shouldn’t be crying since it’s your birthday and all,” Josh whimpered. “I feel like a stupid baby.”

“Josh, don’t say that. There was a time we thought I wouldn’t make it to 18, but go me! We’re here celebrating and it’s so sick that I get to share this with you.” Tyler tried to joke. He hated seeing Josh torn up about this. “Now, is that cupcake for me or are you just going to tease me and eat it yourself?”

Josh laughed, wiping away the remaining tears as he grabbed the cupcake from the table and opening the container, revealing the deliciousness. “Your dietician said that you could have one, so uh, I went to your mom about what kind you liked and she taught me how to make these.”

“Aww, Jish! Thank you so, so much,” Tyler squealed with delight as he took the pastry out of it’s container and unpeeled part of the wrapper, taking a bite, moaning. “Oh, good Lord above! I’ve missed these so much! Here, have a bite! I bet you haven’t tried them.” Josh tried to decline, but Tyler ripped off a piece and shoved it into his protesting boyfriend’s mouth. Mothers gushed as they both took a picture as siblings and fathers gagged.

The cupcake was consumed by the boys and they moved onto all the cards that wished Tyler well. Some even asked if they could hang out once he was feeling better. He looked a bit nervous about meeting new people, but Josh promised that they were really cool. Then it was time to open presents. Josh passed over two wrapped gifts.

“I had to help him wrap,” Ashley piped in. “He tried wrapping gifts one year for Christmas and I swear on my own future grave, he had managed to wrap the cat up. We have zero clue how he managed it!”

“Hush up, Ash.” Josh stuck his tongue out, turning his attention back to Tyler as he peeled the paper back. The first one was a decent sized box. When he pulled the lid off, inside was a fluffy yellow sweater. “I uh, I hope you like it. It can keep you warm and stuff.”

“I love it!” Tyler pulled the piece of clothing out and pulled it on. It was far too large, but he didn’t care. It was super soft inside and it smelled like Josh, probably because it had been in his room for who knows how long before it was sealed away in the box. “What’s this one?” He grabbed the smaller box.

“Nothing much. Just something small and dorky, like you.”

“Oh, ha ha!” Tyler chuckled, unwrapping it. He opened the tiny box inside, a soft gasp. “Josh, this looks like…” He lifted necklace from the case. Hanging from the black cord was a skeleton key.

“Mine? Yeah, I thought we could match. Here, let me help.” Josh took the necklace from Tyler and put it around his neck. “There we go. Now we can be the envy of every couple ever.”

“No one has a relationship as cool as ours.” The now 18-year-old leaned back against his boyfriend and smiled up at him. “Thank you so much, Josh. You’ve definitely made this the best day ever.”

“Anything for you, angel.” Josh kissed his forehead. “Always for you.”

 

**< ><><>**

 

The months that followed were the worst days of Josh’s life.

About a week after Christmas, Tyler fell ill and it seemed like the cancer was on the warpath, itching to kill his precious lover. The first few days had been spent trying to comfort the coughing boy, helping him through his aches and chills. As soon as he started throwing up blood, Josh had to go and he wasn’t allowed to come back until Tyler was better. It was a routine that the older teen was used to, but his mood changed so drastically. It certainly showed. His friends became very worried.

After about month or so, Bill answered the door when there were tiny, furious knocks, alerting him that there were visitors. He wasn’t surprised to see Debby and Jenna standing on the other side. “Hey there, girls. Josh is upstairs in his room. You know where to find it.” Jenna nodded and dragged her petite girlfriend up the stairs, marching them down the hall to Josh’s room.

She practically kicked in the door as she shouted, “Joshua William Dun, get your skinny butt out of bed! You’re coming outside to get some sunshine and that's” She paused when she saw the state Josh was in. Tears streaming down his flushed cheeks, hands trembling violently but still managing to clutch his phone. “Josh, what’s wrong?”

“He won’t text me back, Jen. He always texts me back.” Josh hiccupped as he showed Jenna his phone. She gently took it from him and looked at the texts. All of them from the past week or so. Not a single response despite Josh’s urgency in some of them. “I’m so scared. What if he’s… I can’t! I can’t do this!”

Debby sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around Josh, holding him close. “Hey, shh. Don’t you dare think such things. Tyler is strong and he’ll get through this. You know that his treatments always take a toll on him after a while, Josh. These things happen sometimes.”

“I know, but still! I’m scared! I just want to know if he’s okay!” Josh sobbed into his friend’s shoulder. “My heart hurts so much, Deb. I don’t think I could live if I lost him. He’s my whole world.”

Debby looked at Jenna with tears in her eyes, silently pleading her to take pity on the poor guy. The blonde set the phone down and gently pushed Josh back onto the bed. The two girls curled up on either side of him. Jenna’s perfectly manicured nails played with his fluffy curls and Debby hummed in his ear. It wasn’t the same as having Tyler, but it was good to know he wasn’t alone.

 

**< ><><>**

 

At the hospital, Tyler was clinging onto life. He had reacted badly to a new treatment that left his body in shock and nasty bruises on his skin. It was an overall terrible experience that he just wanted to forget about.

He desperately desired to text his boyfriend and let him know that he was still alive, that he hadn’t given up just yet. The doctor had taken his phone away, telling him it was important that he focus on recovering and not social media or anything silly like that. Josh wasn't silly. Josh was the love of his life. The boy who had helped him through this difficult time and he couldn’t even text him. He cried so much that it upset the peace that his stomach had found and forced up the contents that weren’t there. His throat burned and the taste of copper lingered on his tongue.

“J-Josh, please… I miss you,” He choked out as a nurse dabbed away the blood and bile from the corner of his mouth. The teen couldn’t tell if it was Laura or not. Fortunately for him, it was. She gently shushed him, caressing his sweat soaked hair back. “I want Josh…”

“I know you do, sweetie. I know he wants you just as bad.” Laura felt so bad. The relationship the pair had was the most precious and innocent thing and it seemed like God was testing them. They were both struggling to hang on to one another. “You’ll both get through this, I promise.”

“Tell him I love him, please. Tell Josh that I love him so much.” Tyler smiled, exhaustion finally settling in. “I love my alien.”

“Of course, I’ll tell him, baby. Don’t you worry.” Laura kissed his forehead, just like a mother would do. “He loves his little skeleton so much.”

 

**< ><><>**

 

Josh never went to prom.

His friends had tried to encourage him to attend the event, but he declined, stating that there was no reason for him to go if he couldn’t go with his boyfriend. Nobody told Tyler that he didn’t go at Josh’s request. He didn’t want his angel to feel bad or like he was holding Josh back from having fun. Honestly, Josh had fun that night. He picked up a shift at the music shop, which made him a little giddy inside because it gave him enough time to think about tomorrow.

Tomorrow was the ‘Dye for Donations’ fundraiser. His entire school had gotten permission from the principal and school committee to hold the event. It was going to be so much fun. All of the money would be donated to the hospital Tyler was currently staying at and used to help pay for treatments and medical bills for the families that were struggling. He had bought his hair dye with his last paycheck, obviously giving the rest to Kelly and Chris.

_ I really hope Tyler loves the color I picked out. I hope it doesn’t look stupid on me. _ He thought as he buried his face into his arms. The bell on the door jerked him from his little party of insecurity. “Hello and welcome to-- Brendon? Hey, man.”

“Hey, dude! Thought I’d come by and visit you.”

“Shouldn’t you be at prom or something? You and Dallon were looking forward to being all openly gay in front of everyone.” Josh smirked.

“Eh, things change, you know? Dallon and I decided to ditch the lame party and come see you instead! Seemed far more interesting.” Brendon jerked a finger towards the door as Dallon stepped inside. “Beside, he said you shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

“Hey, Jenna and Debby agreed with me.” Dallon held his hands up defensively. The ladies appeared behind him, the blonde gently pushing him out of the way so she could see Josh.

“We can totally have our own little prom here! Now put some music on and dance with me, Joshie!” Jenna put her hands on her hips. Josh laughed and put a record on the player, so glad that his manager still believed in vinyls. “Dude, Elvis Presley? Sick!” Jenna grabbed his hand, dragging him to an open area on the floor. Debby flipped the ‘open’ sign to ‘close’ while Brendon and Dallon closed the blinds.

Josh always imagined sharing this moment his boyfriend. Maybe someday he could recreate the magical night known as prom, though he wouldn’t lie. Dancing with Jenna was a pretty close second. He could appreciate a girl with a real sense of rhythm.

 

**< ><><>**

 

Today was the big day.

A lot of kids that showed up to the fundraiser pointed out two things about Josh.

The first being that he wasn’t at prom last night. There were a few who had missed him and wished he had joined them, but understood his desire to do anything he could to help his boyfriend. Even if it meant surrendering a few silly high school traditions. The second was that he was a day late wearing the tux he had brought in with him.

“Dude, what are you up to?” Brendon asked as he eyed the fancy setup.

“Well, I figured I’d get my hair dyed, put on my best clothes and go see my boyfriend. You see, between spending my money on his medical treatments, I’ve also been saving up some extra cash on the side.” Josh smirked. “I have the ultimate surprise for Tyler.”

“Oh? What is it?” Jenna bounced on the balls of her feet. She was such a sucker for romance. Tyler and Josh’s romance to be more specific. The older boy didn’t speak. He pulled a small box out of his pocket. “Oh my God! Joshua Dun! No you are not!”

“Oh, this is too much!” Debby squealed as she hugged her girlfriend’s arm.

He didn’t get a chance to respond. The hairstylist called his name and he marched up with pride with his box of hair dye. He told her exactly how he wanted it and she got to work. Kids stared in awe as he went through a wash, a shave, treatment for the dye and then the application of the actual dye itself.

When all was said and done, he changed into his tux and left with a wave of the hand. There were catcalls and whistles, kids cheering him on and wishing him luck.  _ I’m already the luckiest man in the world. Let’s see if I can get luckier. _

 

**< ><><>**

 

When Josh arrived, his nerves were jittering with excitement and fear.

Sure, he had done this for the past four years, but today was different. The tiny box that was in his pocket suddenly felt like a hundred pounds of anxiety and potential rejection. Pieces of his heart were already breaking off. He knew that their relationship was still fairly new and that this might be a bit step.

“Well, I’ll never know the answer until I go inside.” He steeled himself and walked inside. His appearance immediately captured attention. Nurses giggled and whispered compliments about him. A few doctors gave him some strange looks, but who could really blame them? How often did you see a man with freshly dyed hair walk into a hospital wearing a tux? The chances were probably slim to none. He grinned at everyone he passed and even stopped to chat with a few little children that seemed absolutely enamored with his hair. He made a turn down a more familiar hallway where Tyler’s room was located. More familiar faces that knew him by name greeted him.

“Josh, you look so handsome!”

“I’m loving the hair, Joshua!”

“Tyler is one lucky boy!”

“Oh, la la! All dressed up for a hot date with your sweetheart?”

Josh wished. That would probably be the first thing he did once Tyler was free to leave this prison. Take him out on the most romantic date he could think of with the cheesy movie or dinner and cliche porch lit kiss goodnight. His heart raced thinking about. He made it to his boyfriend’s room just as Kelly was about to walk in. She stopped with her hand on the door, eyes wide open.

“Oh, sweet Lord in heaven! Joshua, what happened to your hair?”

“I told you I was getting it dyed, Mama J.”

“That was ages ago, Josh! I thought you were kidding around,” She retaliated as she reached up, touching the fluffy curls that were once brown. “What is Tyler gonna say?”

“Hopefully, he’ll love it.” Josh felt his nerves jittering beneath his skin. “Do I look okay?”

Kelly smiled fondly at her son’s boyfriend, resting her hands on his cheeks. “You like the perfect gentleman, Joshua. Come on, I know he could use a bit of cheering up.” Josh nodded and pushed the door open, allowing Kelly to walk in first. He heard Tyler’s voice and instantly his heart soared. His boyfriend had such an angelic voice.

“Tyler, I brought someone with me today.”

“Who?”

That was his cue. He stepped inside and announced his arrival. “Hey there, angel. I just thought I’d drop by and see you.” Josh had confidence, no one could deny that. He just lacked the ability to be smooth, so he knew he sounded ridiculous. Tyler looked torn between laughing and having a heart attack.

“J-Josh, what the hecking heck happened to you? Your hair!” Tyler pointed at the mop of curls. “It’s yellow, baby! Why is it yellow?” The older teen stepped towards the bed, taking a knee and bowing his head. Shaky fingers played with the yellow locks. “This is so weird, but it looks so natural! Why’d you do it?”

“I did it for you, angel.” Josh grabbed Tyler’s hand, pressing his lips to each knuckle. “We had a fundraiser at school. Dye for donations and all that. You should see Jenna and Debby’s hair. Jen has blue highlights and Debby has like this pastel violet color. So cool.”

“Look at you, though! My ball of Dun-shine!” Tyler laughed, throwing his arms around Josh’s neck, burying his face into the messy curls. “Oh Joshie, you’re the greatest. My guardian angel with the locks of sunshine.”

“We both know you’re the real angel, Tyler.” Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler’s middle as best as he possible could.Zack and Jay gagged from their spot in the corner of the room while Madison cooed over the cuteness. “I have another surprise for you. Close your eyes for me.”

Tyler released his boyfriend and covered his eyes. Josh swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing that there were watchful eyes in the room. He forced his anxiety back as he pulled the box from his pant pocket. There were soft whispers and questions. Josh had to drown them all out, remain focused on Tyler. He opened the box.

“Y-You can open your eyes now.”

Tyler removed his eyes and felt his heart stop. Nestled in a bed of crushed velvet was a simple silver band with a tiny ruby embedded in it. Nothing too fancy or too feminine. “Josh, what are you…?”

“I’m not proposing. That’ll be later, if uh, if we make that far. I hope we do.” Josh placed the box into Tyler’s hand.

Delicate fingers traced over the band slowly. “What is this then?”

“Uhm, it’s a promise ring. I want to promise that I’ll always be here for you and love you and I’ll never leave you even when things get rough. It’s hope for a brighter future and cheesy dates like in the movies and that someday we’ll argue over flower arrangements while our moms pick out color swatches for suits because they both know we’d go with something ridiculous, like blue or red.” Josh smiled as Tyler giggled. Nobody argued with that.

“You know, you didn’t have to give me a ring.” Tyler smiled, holding up the box. “You’ve made so many to me, Joshua and you’ve kept them all. What makes the new ones any different than the last?” The older boy blinked, realizing that Tyler was right.

“So, I can bring it back to the store?” Josh playfully asked.

Tyler gave him a look as he took the ring out of its little bed and slipped it onto his finger. “I don’t think so! This is adorable and I love it!”

“You promise?”

“Oh my God! Joshua William Dun, you’re just… you’re done! You can leave now!”

Josh laughed as he stood and wrapped his arms around the fragile boy. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, angel.”

 

**< ><><>**

 

It was June 6th.

Graduation day was finally here. He was all dressed up in his nice clothes that were hidden under the traditional cap and gown that seniors wore on their final day. He kept looking at his reflection in the glass windows of the gymnasium, hardly able to believe that he was standing here, getting ready to kiss this place goodbye. Happiness. That’s what he should have been feeling, but he just couldn’t find it in him.

This morning, his parents and siblings had all cried tears of joy as he drove off before more family arrived and smothered him praise and affection. He wanted to see Tyler before the ceremony. When he arrived at the hospital he had received news he never thought he’d here. Tyler was gone. They didn’t say he was dead or alive. He was just gone. Josh raced down to the room he had grown to know as his home away from home for the past four years. He pushed the door open. It was empty. Tyler was gone.

“Wh-where is he?” He cried, begging for someone, anyone to tell him where his boyfriend was. The doctors and nurses told him that it was confidential information. Family only. Family. Josh raced out of the hospital and drove to the Joseph’s address. He had banged upon the door, but received no response. There was no one home.

Had Tyler died and they were planning his wake? Was it today? Did nobody think to tell him about the love of his life leaving him just because of some stupid graduation ceremony? He sank to his knees and sobbed. His throat burned. His eyes were rimmed red. His heart was like a lead weight in his chest.

And that’s how he felt right now, even as he was lining up to march outside with his classmates. There were a few friends that had tried to cheer him up as best as they could with stupid faces and cheerful text messages. Nothing. He was stone faced, walking like a zombie among the living. The loud cheers and screams coming from the bleachers was deafening, but he still managed to drown it all out. It mattered so little to him. The love of his life was gone. His best friend was gone. To where, he didn’t know. Up in heaven? Somewhere far away from Josh?

_ I hope he’s happy wherever he is. _ Josh thought as he took his seat and sat through the boring speeches given by the principal and a few teachers. There was even a guest speaker, but Josh couldn’t be bothered to listen.

They started calling names. The few friends that had last names before his own, he clapped and offered half assed smiles. Finally, it was his turn. Josh walked to the stage as people cheered and called his name. He tried to put on a happy face, but even his principal could see he wasn’t all there. “Are you alright, Mr. Dun?”

“My best friend and the love of my life… isn’t here. So, I’m sorry if I’m not as happy as I should be.” Josh didn’t know why he was confessing all of this here and now, though it wasn’t like he could tell anyone else. “He meant the world to me and now I don’t know where he went. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive or what.”

The principal nodded slowly, looking towards the crowd. “Tell me, Mr. Dun. Have you ever thought to look in the last spot you’d think you’d find him?”

“Huh?” Josh tilted his head and looked out. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened, fresh tears welling up. “Oh my God.”

There, in the front row of the bleachers, was Tyler and his family. They were all holding up brightly painted signs that spelled: I’M IN REMISSION!!

“He’s… He’s in remission.” Josh trembled on the spot, hands clutching his diploma tightly. “He’s in freaking remission!”

“I don’t think the rest of the class heard you, Mr. Dun.” The principal chuckled.

Josh grabbed a mic from the nearest teacher and screamed as he pointed, “The love of my life is in remission!” Those who knew the love of Josh’s life stood up and turned, screaming and cheering when they saw bright signs in the audience. He abandoned it all. The diploma and the mic as he bolted off the stage. His cap came flying off, yellow curls whipping freely in the wind as his feet carried him closer to Tyler. The other boy was running towards him as well, arms stretched out.

“Tyler!” Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler just as their bodies collided and hoisted him up into the air. “You’re here! You’re in remission!”

“I’m here and I’m in remission, Josh!” Tyler cupped Josh’s face, thumbs wiping away the tears cascading down his boyfriend’s cheeks. “I wanted to surprise you, baby! Are you… Are you surprised?”

“I’m so surprised. This is sick!” Josh lowered Tyler just enough so their noses could touch. “This is so sick, angel. I was so scared that you died. I tried to find you this morning and they said you were gone. I didn’t want you to be gone.”

“I’ll never be gone, Josh. I’m always going to be here for you,” Tyler whispered softly. “Do you know why?”

“Why’s that, angel?”

“Because I promise to always be here.” They shared their first kiss. It was sweet and filled with passion. Shy and hesitant. Teeth clacked together a few times, but they brushed it off with soft giggles.


End file.
